There must be a better way.

I went ahead and figured out the whole evolution debate for anyone who is interested. The answer came to me a while ago when I was looking at a roll of toilet paper.

Yes, Toilet Paper.

Now according to Evolutionists, the earth is around 4.5 billion years old and humans have been around for around 200,000 years.

According to Christians, the earth is around 6000 years old and humans have been around since day one. I decided to side with neither Christians nor Evolutionists.

In the end, I decided to side with the toilet paper.

Depending on who you talk to Toilet paper was invented in 1857 when Joseph Gayette invented the fluffy version we know today or as early as 589 AD when the Chinese first started using regular paper for the task.

2010 minus 589 = 1421 years to the Chinese

2010 minus 1421 = 1153 years to Mr. Gayette.


We’ll just round it off and call it 1000 years. Am I really supposed to believe that Humans were on this earth for 199,000 years before someone decided, “Hey, there just has to be a better way to wipe my arse?



I just can’t wrap my mind or my roll around it.

After 199,000years, someone said, “Man, I don’t want to use these twigs and leaves anymore. There must be a better way.”


I suppose that’s possible if we were apes up until very recently and only recently became humans but according to my scientific sources, Humans have been what we would call humans for about 200,000 years and the great ape business happened before that, starting about 3.6 million years ago.



I have a feeling those humans that put up with twigs and leaves for 199,000 years would be highly impressed with the iPod and a few of the other things we’ve come up with since we humans got a little ambition.

The reality of the matter is that what we have to show for it looks like about 6000 years work.



*Space Travel


What else have we got?

Oh yeah.



* Airplanes, and most importantly toilet paper.

It’s all hanging on the toilet paper and I’m very happy to stand by the logic of toilet paper because after 200,000 on this planet, I should have at least figured out how to fly or something by now, and I can’t fly.

So, until you see me flying by your house, I’m sticking with the toilet paper.

This article was originally published on April 25th, 2010.

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