Giving up my title

As 2010 draws to a close it is with great sadness that I report that I must give up a title that I have held for about 10 years now. Hopefully, in the next decade, a new opportunity to earn a new title will open up. What I know for sure is that my old title is slipping away. In a previous blog, I mentioned my dishwashing skills and dishwashing conceit.

Well, just to encourage me to move on to bigger things perhaps, last week, an indirect attempt to dethrone me was made. I heard my brother downstairs doing the dishes. Afterwards, I observed his work, secretly and covertly from another location outside the kitchen.

What I saw sent me into shock! Up until that time, I had enjoyed an unchallenged reign as God’s gift to dishwashing. However, what I saw that night sent me slumping back to my room.

Exhibit A

As I explained in a previous blog entry, people who care nothing about dishwashing, or the kitchen do dishes like this:

Exhibit B

Exhibit A

  1. Wash.
  2. Rinse.
  3. Dry with a tea towel.
  4. Put away.

Exhibit B

  1. Wash.
  2. Rinse.
  3. Run away.

Exhibit B types hail from all walks of life. They even hold down good jobs at top organizations. Many have even attained management positions.

They tend to just wash the dishes and put them in the sink and then walk away without an ounce of shame. They only do enough work to say “I washed some dishes,” and then go back to more important things.

But what I witnessed in my brother signaled a new dawn, a new era in dishwashing excellence.  I don’t want to trash talk and say he just did it well because he was in trouble with my mother because that would be wrong and because he repeated the same feat about a week later and in record time. After the second week, I knew that an invisible baton and an invisible bottle of Palmolive was quietly being handed over to the next generation.

Well, where does this leave me? Well, clearly, I must find a new way to distinguish myself in this world.

I guess I do a decent job with the bathroom but the passion and the excellence that I’ve brought to the field of dishwashing just isn’t there. This passion will never be equalled again until I obtain financing for my movie project and pour this work ethic into my first feature film.

I would like to close this article by extending my congratulations to my brother, share my joy with his future wife and announce my search for a new source of self esteem.

It’s been a good run.

  1. Here I come!


In early 2011, I observed the aforementioned brother returning to his old Exhibit B dishwashing style. It appears I am indeed still God’s gift to dishwashing.


This article was originally published on November 15th, 2010.

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