But Where’s Venus?

Once again, I’m a little suspicious and extremely concerned. I am sad to say that the subject of my concern is once again, CNN.

You:    Carol, why do you keep watching CNN?

Carol:  Well, they’re the worldwide leader in News.

Anyway,

I’d like to report how CNN just broke my heart today.

Rewind.

Last Saturday I was puttering around the house and I heard CNN reporter Fredericka Whitfield say, “And join me next week for my interview with Venus Williams.”

Awesome! Who’s my favourite female Tennis player?

Venus Williams.

(Possibly even my favourite tennis player period now that Agassi is retired).

She didn’t say what time it would be so I was praying that somehow, I would miraculously catch it.

Well, today I just happened to be cleaning the house when I switched on the TV and heard Fredericka Whitfield say, “And coming up next (12:00 Noon) My interview with Venus Williams.”

Great! What a delicious slice of serendipity!

This was around 11:20 amish.

Then a few minutes later I heard Fredericka say:

“This just in. We’ll be going live soon to a live briefing from the Pentagon with some new Osama Bin Laden Videos that have been released.”

For the next 30 minutes we all anxiously waited for the Pentagon Briefing.

Fine.

Since photos were not released of his death, it appears the Pentagon has decided to appease the public by releasing some video footage.

Fine.

Then when the Pentagon Briefing finally happened this is the footage they had.

1) A grey-haired man (Osama Bin Laden) videotaped from behind watching himself on T.V

2) Osama rehearsing and making a speech

Around 1:55 I’m thinking, “Well that’s 2 hours. Surely Venus is coming up at 2:00Pm.

Nope.

CNN Took some footage of Osama watching himself on TV and making a speech and stretched it into four and a half hours of coverage.  Five if you count the time I spent waiting around 11:20 Am.

At 4:30 I realized that my Venus Interview watching dream was going the way of the dinosaur.

Since I eventually gave up, right now you must be thinking, “Carol, don’t be bitter. At least you learned a lot of new information from the 4 1/2 hours of coverage.”

Well, from what I picked up (Bits and pieces in between housecleaning and guests) Osama Bin Laden spent a good deal of his time in hiding watching himself on TV. They also learned that he was dying his beard.

This is what CNN spent 4 1/2 hours telling me.

I suppose I could be grateful.  However, I’ve known about Osama since 1993 when I first read about him in Reader’s Digest. I knew about Osama long before September 11th, 2011.

To make myself feel better I could tell myself that I am learning some new information.

I could try to be thankful for the new information.

But you know, right now all I can think of to say to CNN is

Where is Venus?

Where is she?

Where is the interview you promised me with Grand Slam Champion Venus Williams? There is a small segment of the population that actually wanted to watch it!

Also, I’d like to mention that the information you gave about Osama could have been covered in one hour if not 30 minutes.  Why do you do these things CNN?

To Fredericka Whitfield I say, “I forgive you.”

I think you actually meant to bring us an interview with Venus Williams and I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.

To CNN I say, “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.  You are so on probation.”

******************************************************

May 8th, 2011

Part 2

Today as I was finishing up some baking, I turned on the TV just in time to hear Fredericka Whitfield say, “Coming up next, more of my interview with Venus Williams where I ask Venus the 3 most important keys to greatness.”

Great!

I noted the time. 5.36 PM.

Then Fredericka did a segment on how to ask your boss for a raise and then went to Venus!

Yeah!

She asked Venus the above-mentioned question.

Venus began answering these questions at 5:42.

Her answers were:

1. Hard work
2. Confidence
3. Heart-That extra you pull out of yourself to get the job done.

Heart is also closely related to 1 and 2.

Then it went back to Fredericka in the CNN studio at

5:43

and Fredericka said, “To hear all of my interview with Venus Williams, visit my blog at blogs.cnn/Fredericka. Remember to tweet me.

So, I got 1 minute.

You know what Fredericka, I just don’t have the desire or time right this minute to look through the whole entire Bible to find out if I’m allowed to rescind Yesterday’s forgiveness.

So I’m going to let it stand.

Lucky for you, I’m even going to give you the benefit of the doubt again and say that it is possible that while I was baking and doing other things today, you showed more of Venus than I saw.

However, a more likely scenario is that you pimped Venus out over the course of an hour or two while reporting on other stories.

I can’t say for sure. I was doing other things so that is not an official statement or accusation, just a theory.

And who am I to accuse you anyway, just because when I was growing up in my life of privilege and undeserved opportunities, interviews with Wimbledon champions lasted more than 60 seconds.

I suppose the most important thing Fredericka is that I’m not bitter.

Thankfully, I’m not the kind of person to be bitter and hang on to a grudge for years and years and years.

Nope. That’s not me.

************

May 21st, 2011

************

The saga continues

Why am I torturing myself?

Well, today I was cleaning as usual on a Saturday morning and I heard T.J Holmes of CNN say something about, “Coming up next Fredericka Whitfield and I talk about the end of the world.”

As you know, there are some Christian Kooks who think the world will end today at 6:00Pm. (Rapture, earthquake, 5 months of torture for those left behind)

Moving on.

When Fredericka came on, she talked about some stuff with T.J and then at 11:52 Am, she said, “That Venus Williams interview that got interrupted by breaking news, well, we’re bringing you that today. Coming up at noon.”

The great thing about this is that since the rapture and the end of the world isn’t until 6:00Pm and the earthquake isn’t until later today, then there really is no good reason for this Venus interview to be interrupted.

Let’s see if Fredericka regains my trust today.

12:09       (Footage of Fredericka talking to Venus

Fredericka:   You like to win?

Venus:         I love to win, not just like. It’s addictive.

Fredericka:   Coming up next my interview with Venus Williams.

12:12 (Commercials end)

Fredericka: President Obama and Benjamin Netanyahu….

(Story about the recent Mideast peace talks)

12:15:  Dominic Strauss Kahn pays big bucks to get out of jail. Straight ahead our legal team weighs in.

Commercials

12:17 Ready for a cruise?  Well, now may be the perfect time to find a great deal.

(Travel story on cruises)

12:18 Commercials

12:20

It cost him a million in cash, but now Dominic Strauss Kahn, accused of raping a hotel maid is now out of jail. Our legal experts….

(Joined by a panel of legal experts to talk about Dominic Straus Kahn)

12:24

This next story involves two New York Police officers accused of rape.

(Legal experts start talking about that case)

Right now, you’re probably saying, “Carol, why are you still watching CNN?

  1. They’re the world leader in news
  2. While I’m doing this, I’m sweeping, washing and cleaning. So, they’re not completely wasting my time.

12:25 Now we’re talking about the Lautner/Gifford case in Tucson, Arizona.

12:26

Next, we’ll talk about Governor John Huntsman, Governor and then my face to face with Venus Williams.

Commercials

12:29

Our top stories. Mexican Police say they’ve nabbed a powerful drug king.

(Followed by other news stories)

12:31

John Huntsman, possible presidential candidate tests the waters in New Hampshire

12:34

Not waiting until June to Decide is Tim Pawlenty

Quick snippet about flooding in Mississippi

Commercials

12:37

The middle of next month, that’s how long it could take the water levels in Mississippi to return to normal.

12:39

How costly might a divorce be between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver?  Our legal guys weigh in next.

Commercials

12:42

Remember Elizabeth Smart, the Utah teen who was kidnapped…

(Story about Elizabeth Smart)

(Legal experts)

12:45

Let’s move on to the Arnold Schwarzenegger Maria Shriver story.

12:48

Commercials

12:51

Former CEO of Godfather pizza and Tea Party Favourite Herman Cain announces his candidacy for president.

(Herman Cain at a Rally)

Why am I still watching this?

Because the day Venus Williams won Wimbledon was one of the happiest days of my life.  When she followed it up with the U.S Open, later that summer. I can’t even talk about it. I am just a little verklempt.

12:52

Commercials

12:55

Power serving, power playing Venus Williams

Interview

(Fredericka is now interviewing Venus Williams)

(I’m watching it so I can’t type right now. Excuse me)

12:58

More face to face with Venus Williams at 2:00Pm Eastern Time.

I think it may be time for me to just stick with CBC and Cp24.

I’m afraid I will not be sitting around waiting for the 2:00pm continuation of this interview Fredericka.

Sometimes you have to give respect where respect is due.

Here’s why.

After a day of cleaning and shopping, I walked back into my house and flipped on my TV at 4:49

just in time to hear Fredericka Whitfield asking Venus about her favourite Snack and saying,
For more of my interview with Venus visit my blog at cnn.com/….

So, she stretched it out from 12:00 to 4:49.

My response to all this.

I immediately switched my TV to cp24.

This article was originally published on May 7th , 8th and 21st, 2011.
Obsolete links from the original article have been removed where applicable.

 

 

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